Lost in a sea of hope and disappointment. 
I forgot what it is to live. 
To love.
I’m drowning in my sorrow,
don’t have the strength to swim..
to move. 
My eyes quietly ask for help,
but dry out with a goodbye.
I must leave, I say.
Stay.
Staying will only make it worse.
Running away sheds the pain and pounds
that releasing my demons disallows.
With my last breath I’ll beg for a warm bed, 
a sea of flowers glowing in the sun.
I’ll plead for one more starlit night, 
or a breezy day with sunshine.
I’ll break upon arriving to my coffin,
pick up the pieces and reassemble what seems to be perfection. 
They’ll awe and love, 
accepting my return.
But they don’t know what lies below the veil of lies, 
they won’t until I reach the end.
The end is near, I can taste it in my sleep.
It’s that of vinegar and sake, 
with eight more pills and one last drink.
The end is near, I see it in my eyes.
Lifeless and scared, they smile like no other.
Shine like no other.
They glitter in the sun that’s soon to be home. 
With wilderness I’ll stray, 
run along with the birds.
Be part of nothing. 
Feel nothing. 
The end is near, 
the end is here. 
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